funny jokes : If you are looking for stupid funny jokes or dumb jokes english jokes. So we have 20+ funny jokes in english. That mind blowing latest stupid jokes. You tell them your friends. Can share in WhatsApp status, FB story ect.
funny jokes in english
Yes, money cannot buy happiness,
but it is much more comfortable to cry in a new BMW than on a bike.
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A guy shows up late for work.
The boss yells “You should have been here at 8:30!”
he replies: “Why? What happened at 8:30?”
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Customer: “Waiter, this soup tastes funny.”
Waiter: “Funny? But then why arenโt you laughing?”
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I am often asked, “Is google a man or a women?”
My simple answer is: Its a woman because it wont let you finish your sentence without making a suggestion.
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I used to hate weddings,
all the old ladies would prod me and say “you’ll be next!”
They soon stopped that, when I started saying it to them at funerals !
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“Hey what’s up?”
“Nothing much.. converting Oxygen into Carbon dioxide.”
“How the hell do you do that?!” “Breathing… Dude.”
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Madonna is 54 and her boyfriends 25,
Jennifer Lopez is 43 and her boyfriends 26,
so if you’re single its ok, maybe he’s just not born yet.
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Teeth says to tongue: if I just press a little, you’ll get cut.
Tongue replies: if i misuse a single word, all 32 of you will come out.
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Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.
I really thought you already knew it.
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Never make the same mistake twice.
There are so many new ones,
try a different one each day.
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funny jokes in english
You want to come in my life, the door is open.
You want to get out of my life, the door is open.
Just one request. Donโt stand at the door, youโre blocking the traffic.
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I never make the same mistake twice.
I make it 5-6 times, just to be sure.
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The best way to make somebody remember you is to borrow money from them.
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A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.
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Somebody knocks on door: Who is there? Police?
What do you want?
We want to talk. How many of you are there?
Two. So talk with each other.
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Life is like a box of chocolate.
It doesn’t last long for fat people.
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Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 Cents.
Friend: That’s Ludacris. How Kanye West your money like that?
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Son – “Dad what’s the difference between confident and confidential?”
Dad – “Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That’s confidential.”
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Customer: “Waiter, do you serve crabs?”
Waiter: “Please sit down sir, we serve everyone.”
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Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard.
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funny jokes in english
I know when god becomes angry.
When teenage girls get pregnant and their parents exclaim, “Oh god! What have you done?!”
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Employer: “We need someone responsible for the job.”
“Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong,everybody said I was responsible.”
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On the Internet you can be anything you want.
Its so strange that many people choose to be stupid.
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Life is a car wash โฆ and Iโm on a bicycle.
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Imagine that your in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you.
What do you do?
You stop imagining…
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Thank you so much โค๏ธ sir / ma’am I hope you enjoy it.
For more you may visit our other blogs we have lots of shayari, poems, Jokes, thoughts and quotes ??.
(Chanakya quotes, bollywood jokes, eid shayari, john keats poems etc.)
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