relationship jokes : If you are looking for relationship jokes or family jokes. So we have 25+ relationship jokes in english. That mind blowing latest family jokes. You tell them your friends. Can share in WhatsApp status, FB story ect.
relationship jokes in english
Good News, Bad News, Worse News
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can’t find your birth control pills
Worse: Your daughter borrowed them
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My mother-in-law was bitten by a dog yesterday.
How is she now ?
She’s fine. But,the dog died.
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What do jello and a woman have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
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What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
A Slut sleeps with everyone,
A bitch sleeps with everyone but you!
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What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!
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Why do bankers make great lovers?
They know the penalty for early withdrawal.
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Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it’s getting interesting they are finished until next time…
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A few moments after the daughter announced her engagement,
Father : “Does this fellow have any money ?”
daughter shook her head sadly : “Oh Daddy ! You men are all alike.”
sighing deeply,
she replied, “That’s exactly what he asked me about you.”
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What’s the definition of a real loser?
A guy who has a wet dream and gets HIV.
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Two men are talking.
The first say, “I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.”
“Amazing,” said the second, “I just got divorced for the very same reasons.”
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relationship jokes in english
Boy: Those clothes are very becoming on you!
Girl: Why thank you!
Boy: Of course, if I was on you…I would becoming too!
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Mommy, mommy! What’s a nymphomaniac?
Shut up and help me get grandma off the doorknob!
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A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: “You’re what?!?”
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Woman, “Slow down, foreplay is an art.”
Man, “Well, if you don’t get your canvas arranged soon, I’m going to spill my paint!”
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The morning after their honeymoon night,
Julie says to her husband, “you know, You’re really a lousy lover!”
Her husband replies, “How would you know after only 30 seconds?”
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What’s the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?
Mayonnaise doesn’t hit the back of a girls throat at 40 mph.
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How do you know when your girlfriend is too fat?
When she sits on your face and you can’t hear the stereo
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Mother: What seems to be the problem with you?
You have been married three years and still no children. I had hopes of being a grandmother by now.
Daughter: I just don’t know, Mom! Billy tries all the time, it’s just that I have a lot of trouble swallowing.
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I’ve noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot.
It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there:
They have no wife to go home to..or they do.
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What’s the difference between Love,
True Love and showing off?
Spit, swallow and gargle.
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relationship jokes in english
Wife: Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
Husband: Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
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How do most men define marriage?
A very expensive way to get your laundry done free.
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Marriage is a workshop,
where man works and woman shops.
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Wife: “I won the lottery! Five million dollars. Whoo-ee–start packing!”
Husband “That’s great!!! What should I pack?”
Wife: “Whatever you want, just be out of the house by the time I get there”
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Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?
simple it is just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!!
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